Feature Photo by Brian Kachejian
Do you remember school lunches? Of course you do. How could anyone forget sitting in the school cafeteria, eating probably the worst cheeseburgers of their life? Well, at least they were better than the chicken nuggets. I always wondered what that gray stuff was inside them. Nonetheless, you may have thought those cheeseburgers from the school lunchroom would forever be the worst burgers you’d ever taste. Sorry, but I have news for you. There is a place in this world where you can pay about five times the price you paid for that school lunch cheeseburger, and it will still be worse than the one you had back then. I’m not trying to be mean here, but on my most recent visit to MetLife Stadium to watch the wonderful New York Jets continue their fabulous play (coughing), I chose to try one of Patty’s cheeseburgers from the stadium concessions. That was a mistake, and here’s why.
First off, there was the price. These cheeseburgers cost fifteen dollars. Now, of course, I’m used to paying for food at stadium concessions, that’s just part of the whole experience. Yet this was a pretty small cheeseburger. It wasn’t much bigger than a basic McDonald’s burger, which costs only a couple of bucks. But once I got past the size of the burger, things got even worse. As soon as I opened the wrapper, there was a smell that hit me, and I knew I was doomed. It was a familiar smell. I was instantly transported back to that school cafeteria, the same smell those burgers had. I was almost hesitant to even try it, but at the time I was recording a video, and I didn’t really have a choice. I mean, of course, I actually did have a choice, but then it would’ve been fifteen dollars wasted. At least I was getting a video out of it. Of course, I was hoping that it might actually taste good so I could eat the whole thing. But nope, that was not what happened.
First off, I only took one bite, and it just tasted horrible. It was really bad. I almost went to take another bite, which you can see in the video, but I decided against it. I didn’t want to get sick. It was just like the hot dog I had, horrible. But at least the hot dog was only five dollars. This was fifteen. I don’t understand how a place can get away with serving food this bad and charging that kind of price for it. This one really set me off. As much as I don’t like writing negative reviews, this one felt important. And if these words don’t seem strong enough, then just watch the video below.
I honestly don’t know if this is a chain of burger restaurants or just the name they gave the place in the stadium. The name is a bit vague, just a first name, and I don’t want to include the history of a restaurant in this review that may have nothing to do with the burgers being served at MetLife Stadium. There is a sign that reads “Brought to you by Against The Grain,” a Vermont-based company specializing in gluten-free products. But I don’t want to get into that company here. Everything about these burgers is very vague.
A few years back, the stadium used to serve Bubba Burgers, which weren’t too bad, but these Patty’s burgers, all I know is I will never buy another one again.
If you’ve ever had one of these burgers yourself, I’d love to hear what you think, because maybe I just caught them on a bad day. But somehow, I doubt it. Either way, check out the video below and see for yourself exactly what I’m talking about.
Check out my other detailed and videotaped MetLife Stadium Food Reviews. More to come, I just wish I could write as fast as I eat.
